Laura Wambi Arina
No woman is an island. We all need people in our lives to help us get through life and its antics. We develop bonds with people therefore, for this purpose, bonds called relationships. However, there are things that will bring down any form of relationship, whether Father-child, employer-employee, husband-wife, friend-friend…Today we look at four relationship ‘killers’ we should avoid.
Secrets
You leaving out a couple of receipts as you submit the week’s expenditure report will not augur well with your boss. Neither will not telling your partner that you spent Friday night at Carnivore, bonding over crocodile meat with your ex. Secrets, to quote Cassandra Clare, are like cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind. They destroy any relationship as soon as they come to light. Be open in your relationships, regardless of who it is. Tell the truth if you want a steady, long-lasting relationship.
Blackmail
Yes, blackmail is real. No, it is not only in the movies. Okay, so maybe it is a tad bit too exaggerated in the movies but still…blackmail, even in its tiniest form, is blackmail. No one in a relationship wants to be coerced into doing things (or people) they do not want to do. Rest assured, your relationship will crumble, right after you insinuate that they have no choice but to do your bidding and that will probably be the last you hear of or from them.
Gossip
This is the sweetest form of leisure a person can involve themselves in, but it is also the deadliest. No friend wants to know that the minute they turned their back, you carried the information they so dearly entrusted you with, and went to make word-soup with it. No partner wants to realize (probably in a session of gossip), that their partner has been sharing titbits of their personal lives with people that do not give two horses about them. Gossip does not destroy relationships. It kills them.
Lack of communication
Communication is the engine that drives relationships forward. It is the hub, the driver of any form of relationship. Lack of it therefore, will cause major blows and might eventually lead to termination of the relationship. Tell your business partners that you are not comfortable with how they are using the company’s capital. Talk to your father about the way he makes you feel like a social misfit. Tell your friends that you are very uncomfortable with them making jabs at your boyfriend, or them texting and hitting on your girlfriend. Let your partner know that it bothers you that he has passwords from here to Timbuktu, or that you feel insecure and inadequate when she says certain things about certain guys.
Unforgiveness
We are human, and we go wrong every now and then. Not to be utterly religious, but the grace should be sufficient for a wrong that has been done by a loved one. We make mistakes every day and we expect to be pardoned whenever we make those mistakes. Extend the same pardon to someone that has wronged you, if you want a lasting relationship. Forgive your man for forgetting your birthday, forgive that employee that forgot to meet a deadline. It takes a lot of strength and sacrifice, but it is worth saving a relationship.
Now let’s get rid of these and make our relationships work, won’t we?
