Yes guys, it is quite in order to embrace what could traditionally be considered feminine characters. To be just be a little more open minded. Whether it means joining in a little kitchen activity from time to time, or just helping out with the cleaning. It’s not diminishing your masculinity, we’re not going to make you wear a pink apron and dust the house like a French maid. In fact, I believe it makes you…more appealing.
There’s nothing more attractive than a man who can carry himself into a kitchen and cook like an expert, and we’re not talking about making a few eggs and ugali. I mean one who understands his spices, knows how to tenderize his meats, and can expertly prepare his vegetables. It’ll probably blow her mind, because I’m certain no woman would complain.
We once had neighbours who lived right across from us, a couple with a child whose roles were more or less, switched. The woman worked late hours, while the man took care of the house and the child. Although it was a rather unique set up, I’d always catch my mother admiring the man in his quest to become a suitable house husband. Not suggesting that all men should do the same, but his confidence in carrying out his tasks was quite commendable.
Women at times drown emotionally at the expense of traditional ideals, which are indeed sacred, but they don’t need to be adhered to every moment of everyday. An exception is required, so you too can step into her shoes.
There are a few of those rigid minded men at my place of work, who were raised from the various counties and came to Nairobi to chase the Kenyan dream. Yet the county mentality still influences them. Several comments made during conversations stating that they don’t need to head home early because quote and quote, “they’ll find food when they get there anyways”. Or that they haven’t washed their clothes, even their own underwear since they got married, and couldn’t be bothered to because after all, “what’s a wife for?” That they couldn’t be caught dead bathing their infant child, or hold flowers for their partner in public. Amongst other statements, which although cause a little laughter, leave me slightly apologetic for their spouses. When your wife vowed her loyalty to you for the rest of her life, it didn’t come with the services of a maid, you could hire a maid for that. Yet so many conversations amongst men involve these degrading expectations. Not claiming that a woman shouldn’t do her part, but I believe as long as you’re an adult human, man or woman, house work should come naturally. A marriage is a partnership, not a contract of service for house duty. Treat your wife respectfully, not like a servant.
Leave those rigid traditional ideals for when you head to your shags, if need be. However when it’s just you two, ensure that you’re also supportive in matters of the home, whether it’s taking care of the child, or cleaning the dishes. You wouldn’t believe how much we look at your actions, and how we reflect on the same. Just a little help in these things goes a long way, particularly if you and your partner are both working class individuals. We’d respect and cherish you more. More women are becoming movers and shakers, succeeding tremendously in environments considered to be “a man’s world” at the workplace, so why can’t you do the same?
